Belated happy new year! I hope the first few days of 2023 have been treating you well thus far.
If you're the kind to set New Year's resolutions or some other form of goals, you might have heard that setting goals according to the "SMART" framework increases your chances of accomplishing them. SMART Goals are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant, and Time-bound (with a deadline). Some self-help gurus out there also emphasize the importance of attaching a purpose—a "why"—to your goals.
Following this framework and advice, the goals I set as a 17-year-old student went something like this:
I want to maintain a perfect GPA (Specific + Measurable) until I graduate from high school (Time-bound) so that academics will not become an issue for university admissions (Relevant). I will accomplish this by aiming for the best scores (>90%) for every assignment, quiz, and exam, and putting in the effort necessary to get there (Actionable).
The Problem
While the "why" behind these goals clarified why I must accomplish them, they were too short-sighted and shallow.
If you'd asked 17-year-old me why I wanted to go to university, I'd reply with something equally shallow along the lines of "to get a higher-paying job, whether locally or overseas".
(but why did I want a higher-paying job? 17-year-old me didn't have an immediate answer for that)
Consequently, I had the motivation to accomplish these goals, but they eventually became boxes to check off. When I graduated with the GPA I wanted, I had brief moments of satisfaction that were quickly followed by a "What now?" feeling of emptiness. My achievements in high school had no meaning apart from setting me up to be a "good" candidate for university admissions—and even then, receiving offers from the universities I wanted to attend, with a good enough financial aid package, isn't guaranteed.
I never wanted to feel those feelings of emptiness again, so while my peers moved on to university immediately after high school, I took a gap year to earn some money while reflecting on the kind of university (and post-university) experience that I wanted.
So, dive deeper into the "why" behind your goals. Question them rigorously—are they motivated by what you really want from life, or are they spawned from social, religious, or familial influences that you don't entirely resonate with?
why can reading those lines be that touching n a bit melancholy? Tea, give you a hug.
I like this wisdom
*sip warm milk tea*